Sat Jun 6th 2020 I decided to take a break from alcohol.
The foundation of my life had been crumbling since the fall of 2019 and I needed to make a change and find stability. My brain felt so much dissonance.
Friday night I had sat down and made a plan of what I wanted to accomplish the next day. I wanted to get a walk in early before it got too warm. I enjoyed an alcoholic drink as I made dinner and watched my show before going to bed.
Saturday morning I woke up with my alarm but I couldn’t get out of bed. My brain was foggy, I had no motivation. I just wanted to lie there and do nothing. I felt so much shame that I couldn’t make myself do anything. That walk I wanted didn’t happen much to my dog and my disappointment.
I finally dragged myself out of bed about 2 hours later. I sat on the floor at the end of my bed in the sun and meditated. I vented my frustrations, anger and all the other feelings to the universe. And then I just sat there, feeling a bit numb and raw from it all. I asked what I was supposed to do to.
The answer came to me loud and clear. NO ALCOHOL. And so I stopped drinking. I poured the remaining Prosecco down the sink. I never questioned it. I decided was done drinking for a while.
I decided at first my while was going to be at least 6 months. It took a whole month before I stopped feeling foggy when I woke up in the morning. But I never questioned if I was doing the right thing because the universe, my guardian angels, had told this was my path.
It’s now been 4 years and I am a whole different person than I was 6/6/2020. With alcohol no longer in my way I was able to start processing the dissonance in my head. Find my new foundation, figure out what is importance to me, process experiences I had been though from a different lense.